February 25, 2014
In case you were wondering how they came to be called 'brake shoes". ;) Thanks to Baur owner Terry Sayther Automotive in Texas for the cartoon!
September 6, 2013
Here is a complaint about a brand new BMW with a 'wonky' automatic transmission.
Enjoy! ;)
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10201683856480442
Thanks to Sally Loreal and Munich Evolution.
August 20, 2013
Posted by TR in 2002FAQ 8/18/2013:
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July 16, 2013
In the interests of putting poetry where it is not usually found:
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June 28, 2013
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1/13/2013 Here are a couple from:
http://baurspotting.blogspot.com/2012/12/busted-for-dwd-driving-while-dog.html
12/25/2012
12/21/2012
December 21 2012: The Mayan Calendar and the End of the World?
Happy December 21, 2012.
Thanks to my friend HarryPR for posting this on Facebook! Thanks, Harry!
www.occupybacon.net
12/08/12
In case you were wondering how they came to be called 'brake shoes". ;) Thanks to Baur owner Terry Sayther Automotive in Texas for the cartoon!
September 6, 2013
Here is a complaint about a brand new BMW with a 'wonky' automatic transmission.
Enjoy! ;)
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10201683856480442
Thanks to Sally Loreal and Munich Evolution.
August 20, 2013
Posted by TR in 2002FAQ 8/18/2013:
File this under "reasons to drive a 2002" or at least understand the basics of how cars work. 
My daughter recently graduated from college and was driving with her boyfriend (also a college grad and a smart "kid') when when the oil light came on. They pulled off the road and he opened the hood while she dug out the car's manual. When she came out to help she found him trying to insert the oil dipstick into the "oil fill" opening on the top of the engine. She asked what he was doing and he replied checking the oil level.
Thankfully I taught her the basics so she knew what to do. Here boyfriend thought the tube/hole that the dip stick came out of was just a "holder" for the dipstick!
So now I see why BMW is no longer putting a dipstick in new cars.
TR
Too funny. You can't make this stuff up. Thanks for posting, TR!
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July 16, 2013
In the interests of putting poetry where it is not usually found:
circa 1910
The 23d Psalm up-to-Date
by Dean Kallander
by Dean Kallander
The Ford is my Car,
I shall not want another.
It maketh me to lie down in wet places.
It spoileth my good clothes.
It leadeth me into deep mud holes for its name's sake.
It prepareth a breakdown for me in the presence of my enemies.
Yea, though I run through the valleys, I am towed up the hills.
I fear great evils while it is with me.
Its rods and its engines discomfort me.
It anointeth my head with oil.
Surely to goodness if this thing followeth me all the days of my life,
I shall dwell in the house of the insane forever.
I shall not want another.
It maketh me to lie down in wet places.
It spoileth my good clothes.
It leadeth me into deep mud holes for its name's sake.
It prepareth a breakdown for me in the presence of my enemies.
Yea, though I run through the valleys, I am towed up the hills.
I fear great evils while it is with me.
Its rods and its engines discomfort me.
It anointeth my head with oil.
Surely to goodness if this thing followeth me all the days of my life,
I shall dwell in the house of the insane forever.
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June 28, 2013
Adventures at the DMV This Week With A 40 Year Old Car
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1/13/2013 Here are a couple from:
http://baurspotting.blogspot.com/2012/12/busted-for-dwd-driving-while-dog.html
Another speeding ticket. Day um. I am REALLY gonna be in the doghouse now!
"Officer, so you're saying that texting while driving is against the law here? Why wasn't I told?."
"Yeah, I can usually average about 30 mpg with this puppy."
"Do you know the way to San Jose?"
"Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?"
"Pardon me, do you have any Grey..... Duct Tape?"
"Can I get fries widdat?"
"But Officer, the light was still grey!"
http://baurspotting.blogspot.com/2012/12/baur-wow-wow-driving-school-for-dogs.html
;)
UPDATE: thanks to mariners fan in bimmerforums for this link today, 1/1/2013:
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheDrivingDogs
;)
UPDATE: thanks to mariners fan in bimmerforums for this link today, 1/1/2013:
http://www.youtube.com/user/TheDrivingDogs
12/25/2012
Waldorf and Statler of The Muppets
;)
12/21/2012
December 21 2012: The Mayan Calendar and the End of the World?
Happy December 21, 2012.
Thanks to my friend HarryPR for posting this on Facebook! Thanks, Harry!
www.occupybacon.net
12/08/12
"Officer, I seem to have left my driver's license in my other pants."
http://baurspotting.blogspot.com/2012/12/baur-wow-wow-driving-school-for-dogs.html
8/3/2012
;)
6/17/2012
Oversteer is when your tail hits the wall; understeer is when your nose hits the wall. Horsepower is how fast you hit the wall, and torque is how far you move the wall.
------- Source Unknown, possibly Edward G. 'Fireball' Roberts, Jr. (NASCAR Driver)
Hope this helps.
:)
6/16/2012
This is not all that funny, since it involves the apparent commisson of a crime, but still.....
Posted by joey79 in the E21 bimmerforums today.
http://forums.bimmerforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1852402
Dumb*** of the year award
So last night about 3:30am, my wife wakes me up, "is that your car alarm going off?". It was. It was parked in
the driveway, so I look out the window and see nothing
out of the ordinary. I disabled the alarm, and the doors unlocked. Then I see
some dude with no shirt on get into my car! 
I'm thinking "what
the f**k". I immedately lock the doors, then double lock/arm. Owned 
. I tell the wife to call
911, while I go outside and snap a quick cell phone pic of the guy just incase. After the first
picture, he started getting pissed off and gave me the finger. I then went into
the garage and grabbed my 3lb sledge. I stand next to
the driver's door with the sledge in my hand and a
very angry look on my face. If he tries to bust his way out of the car, he's
getting squashed. The kid is obviously scared shitless, as he doesn't even move
or look at me. Cops come and ask how I locked him in the car, and I tell them
about the double lock. 
Turns out the kid is drunk as f**k and he told the cops he thought my house was his friend's house. Sounds like a bullshit story, but whatever. He also threw up on the outside of my passenger door.
But yeah, double lock saves the day.
Obligatory picture of owned moron in his cage:
I'm thinking "what
the f**k". I immedately lock the doors, then double lock/arm. Owned . I tell the wife to call
911, while I go outside and snap a quick cell phone pic of the guy just incase. After the first
picture, he started getting pissed off and gave me the finger. I then went into
the garage and grabbed my 3lb sledge. I stand next to
the driver's door with the sledge in my hand and a
very angry look on my face. If he tries to bust his way out of the car, he's
getting squashed. The kid is obviously scared shitless, as he doesn't even move
or look at me. Cops come and ask how I locked him in the car, and I tell them
about the double lock. Turns out the kid is drunk as f**k and he told the cops he thought my house was his friend's house. Sounds like a bullshit story, but whatever. He also threw up on the outside of my passenger door.
But yeah, double lock saves the day.
Obligatory picture of owned moron in his cage:
Don'tcha love that 'deer in the headlights' look?!!
;)
6/13/2012
;)
6/10/2012
Above:
BMW April Fool's Day Ad UK ;)
5/13/2012 Happy Mother's Day!!
Ok, fellas, I apologize for getting this out so late today. It probably would have done a lot more good if you had this information in advance of Mother's Day, but..... I got a little tied up with the vacuuming, dust mopping, grocery shopping etc., in preparation for a Mother's Day lunch this afternoon in honor of my wife, my mother in law, my daughter in law (a brand new Mom!) and various other relatives. And yesterday it was a full day of lawn mowing, weed whacking and porch painting, again in preparation for today's lunch. So I am pretty exhausted about now, ---- thank goodness Mother's Day only comes once every year, huh!!---- but I want to try to get this post up for the sake of all my Car Guy Brethren out there who may be able to benefit from it. Since it is really too late to help today, archive it and bring it out next year. Mother's Day is your Golden Opportunity!! Don't waste it ever again! This is Bank, fellas!
For those readers from around the world who may be unfamiliar with American Traditional Holidays, today is Mother's Day in the US. It is a day that we set aside to honor our Mothers, the Mothers of our children, and such like. We all celebrate it each in our own way, but generally flowers, romantic dinners, and schmaltzy cards are the order of the day. I personally try to set a little Special Time aside to honor one of my favorites, the Mothers of Invention, but that's just me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ialhaxhr7iA&feature=related
Ok, so why is this day such a Golden ---- Not To Be Missed----Opportunity? You are all familiar, ---at least those among us who are in a relationship with a SO (Significant Other... a k a SWMBO*, in some circles) ---- to one extent or the other, with the trials and tribulations we endure as Car Guys. Frequently, our SOs are, shall we say, less than enthusiastic about our predilection for trailering home rusty buckets, for filling bins in the garage with spares, and for our frequent trips to the junkyard, car shows, etc. They will never understand, or appreciate, our excitement, for example when, upon opening the trunk lid of a rusty bimmer at the pick-n-pull, we find an unmolested full tool kit!!!
Step 1: Forget ever trying to change that. Accept it as a given, and accept the fact that there is nothing on earth that you can do to change it. Take a deep breath and .... let it go. See, don't you feel better already?
Step 2: Work with what you are given. The Car Guys Gods looked down on what they had created and said,: "Let there be Mother's Day." And It was Good.
Step 3: How to Make the Most Bank out of Mother's Day! Yeah. You don't get this stuff anywhere else, fellas.
1. Flowers. Those are those colorful plant things that you see at nurseries and at the front of the grocery store. Definitely grab a bunch of those, and find a schmaltzy card to go with it. Don't forget to SIGN it! Ask me how I know!
2. Mother's Day is the day to work only on HER car. Change the oil, lube it up. Let her know that this is for HER. Forget swapping that tranny, or that tuneup on your car. You are thinking ONLY of HER needs!
3. If her car doesn't need any of the above, spend the afternoon washing and waxing it. For extra bonus points, vacuum the interior AND clean the INSIDES of the windows! You have just made a friend forever, and scored BIG TIME points! Congratulations!
4. Do NOT, under any circumstances, buy a car today! Let her know in a subtle way that, no matter how sorely you are tempted, you are making this sacrifice for her.
5. If you really have a project that you MUST work on today,.... the key is to spin it properly: Tell her that normally you wouldn't even consider this but... since it is Mother's Day, and you are thinking ONLY of her, you will allow her to assist you in the garage for this ONE time. But she is not to get her hopes up that this will ever happen again, and she must be on her absolute BEST behavior, i.e., no mention of how yucky it is under there and and how dirty and smelly it is, etc. She needs to do her best to enjoy it. Steer clear of any references to things like "Brunch'. Be careful, it is a minefield out there.
6. Piece de Resistance! Take her out to a Romantic Dinner..... at a place that does NOT have a drive thru!! She will immediately know that THIS time it is for HER! Ok ..... now where could that be? That's right! I am thinking FIVE GUYS!! All the peanuts she can eat, a burger of her TOTAL creation... what more could a woman ask for!!!???? The Perfect Finale to a Perfect Mother's Day! Can I get an Amen, brother? !!
OK, there you have it! Pro Tips on how to make the most out of this Golden Opportunity known as Mother's Day! Now.... don't blow it, fellas! Take all this to heart, and believe me, you will reap the benefits of your efforts for years to come!
If all else fails, try a little tenderness, whatever that is. I have it on good authority from Otis whats-his-name, that this works, too. Hey, what the hell, it is worth a shot!
N.B. These are confidential Pro Tips developed over years of experience. Under NO circumstances should they be shared with your SO, and, God forbid, don't anyone let my wife see them!
;)
Next Up: Father's Day! Yeah, where all this hard work and sacrifice really starts to Pay Off!!
Bonus Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQ52n9NbEkM&feature=related
*SWMBO = She Who Must Be Obeyed, from Rumpole of the Bailey, PBS Mystery Series.
"What happens when old car guys get sent to the Rest Home Yes I can fit headers under here."
SCORE ONE FOR THE GOOD GUYS!
Ok, ok. I resisted the temptation as long as I could...
This is a post from bimmerforums about my 'on ramp' adventure in the fall of 2010...... Enjoy!!!
E21 1, bmw 2002 0
Score one for the Good Guys! Ok, so I am open to criticism for being the eternal adolescent. I accept that. But I had some fun today on the way to work.
7:10 I am driving along my usual commute to work.... I spy a BMW 2002 ahead of me in light traffic. A roundie, so about 1973 or earlier. Hennarot. Very nice looking car, antique plates, great exhaust note. I actually HEARD him before I saw him.
So I make a few moves thru the traffic, and after a mile or so through the city we are now abreast at a red traffic light. 1/4 mile til the next light and then a single lane entrance to Interstate 95 on the right, other lanes to other destinations to the left. The light we are at is directly in front of the New London City Police Headquarters. Just to make it interesting.
I dust him at the green, but I am not sure he is engaged, given that we are right in front of the police bldg. Abreast again at the next light, I am thinking he wants 'other destinations' since he didn't pull in behind me for the I-95 entrance lane.
Wrong.
At the light change.... it is on. Off to the races and again I am first into the right entrance ramp, with him right on my bumper. Such fun! As we hit the I-95 lanes he slides over three lanes and I can hear him open it up. We are definitely on now! Out of the corner of my eye I can see him pulling up to me ..... until I hit it. We are uphill on the Thames River bridge--- steep uphill for about 1/2-3/4 mile then crest and downhill. I was pulling away about 3 car lengths as we crested the top at about 90mph ..... he just couldn't hang.... and I let off on the gas to prepare for my exit at the foot of the bridge...... and he zoomed by, probably pushing close to 100 mph on the downhill. I am sure he is scratching his head thinking.... wtf happened here....
My 323i Baur has no badging on the rear... he probably thought he was up against a regular 320i 4 banger, and that he would teach me a lesson on the open highway. The only clue .... is the twin pipes for the exhaust that tell you it is a 6 cylinder not a 4. Very stealth. I am sure I shocked the hell out of him.
Oh well, FWIW..... it was a lot of fun for the minute or so it lasted. I had a smile on my face most of the day. God, I love that car! It was 47 degrees, btw, and I was driving with full top down!* Wearing shorts!* It doesn't get any better than that!*
-------------------------
Fifteen months later, I am still smiling about that one. :)
And, btw, I am now the proud owner of a 1973 BMW 2002 roundie myself, as of 11/16/2012!
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A limerick is a kind of a witty, humorous, or nonsense poem,[1] especially one in five-line anapestic or amphibrachic meter with a strict rhyme scheme (aabba), which is sometimes obscene with humorous intent. The form can be found in England as of the early years of the 18th century.[2] It was popularized by Edward Lear in the 19th century, although he did not use the term.
The following example of a limerick is of unknown origin.
- The limerick* packs laughs anatomical *(pronounced "lim'rick" to preserve meter)
- In space that is quite economical,
- But the good ones I've seen
- So seldom are clean,
- And the clean ones so seldom are comical.
OK, you have been warned!
A Baur Limerick:
We once had a Baur on Nantucket,
Spares-finding we just had no luck at,
So we came to this forum
Bereft of decorum
Yelling 'Spare parts are where tf at?'
I am not sure how well that will translate into other languages so here is a slightly different version:
We once had a Baur on Nantucket,
Spares-finding we just had no luck at,
So we came to this forum
Bereft of decorum
Yelling 'Spare parts are where the (insert well-known rhyming expletive) at?'
If you wish to post something with Baur content to this page, just shoot me an email: tom82baur@gmail.com